Tameside couple tell how they were abused by daughter who wanted their money

A Tameside couple have told the shocking story of how were abused by their own daughter as she tried to gain control of their finances.

Jack* aged 79 was hospitalised in April last year after being strangled by his middle-aged daughter until he lost consciousness.

His daughter had angrily attacked him in response to him asking her to leave during a visit where she was repeatedly pestering her 77-year-old mother, Barbara*, for power of attorney over her finances and wanting access to her bank card.

The couple have agreed to share their story as part of Tameside Council’s Sitting Right With You domestic abuse awareness campaign, which this year is particularly aiming to highlight abuse against older people by their family members.

Jack said: “People think of domestic abuse being between partners, you never imagine your own child would turn on you. We want people to be wary of the signs and speak to someone and get advice before the situation gets any worse. No one should feel scared of a member of their own family.”

The couple said they had always had a “good and loving” relationship with daughter until she married her husband, who they believe is troubled and controlling himself, and gradually the family dynamics began to deteriorate and they lost trust in their daughter.

Jack said: “I knew things were getting out of hand when I walked in on my daughter badgering her mum to give her power of attorney and control of her finances, saying her husband would invest her money for her.

“While we accept power of attorney is a good thing if you trust the person implicitly, we had lost trust in our daughter and her intentions. She had changed since she married her husband and she seemed to be heavily under his influence. She had even said our money was her money anyway.

“We said no and then we didn’t see her for three months, but then she came back all smiling and happy and we were relieved and thought things were okay.

“But then she started at it again. I asked her to leave as her mother was getting upset, which doctors had told us to avoid because of her health conditions. The next thing I knew I was waking up in a hospital bed.”

Barbara told how their daughter had attacked her dad from behind, beating his back and then putting her hands around his neck until he collapsed. She then just walked out of the house and went home, leaving her father unconscious and her mother terrified and distressed.

Barbara said: “It was awful, I couldn’t believe it, she just calmly walked away like nothing had happened and left us there, her dad collapsed on the floor and me crying and distraught.”

Barbara called her son, who called for an ambulance before coming straight to the house himself. Jack, who had only recently recovered from a stroke, was taken to hospital where he stayed for five days and was treated for severe bruising.

The couple were referred to Bridges, Tameside’s Domestic abuse support service run by Jigsaw Support on behalf of Tameside Council. With the help of their support worker they were rehomed to a new area where their daughter does not know their address.

The couple have praised the support they have received by Bridges, who have also given them advice on finances and benefits.

Jack said: “Our support worker has been a godsend and a big reassurance, we can’t thank her enough. We feel settled and safer now.”

Their daughter was arrested by police for suspected Grievous Bodily Harm charges and bailed with conditions not to contact her parents. However the couple decided not to take the case to court.

Jack explained: “In the end it was just too hard to think of our daughter in court and also for my wife to face cross examination in the witness stand.

“But we never want any more to do with her. When I think of her as a baby and all the happy times growing up, my proudest day was when she graduated from university. And this is what is has come to, I really think she meant to kill me that day. It breaks my heart.

“I never imagined money and greed would be more important to her than family love and loyalty.”

Barbara said: “It’s desperately hard for a mum to give up links with a daughter but it’s not right to feel scared by your own. I would advise people to trust their instincts, if it doesn’t feel right it isn’t right and you need to talk to someone and get help and clear advice.”

Domestic abuse includes a range of abusive behaviours (either physical, sexual, financial, psychological or emotional) between people 16 years or older, who are or were intimate partners or family members, regardless of gender. Domestic abuse can happen to anyone; partners; ex-partners; family members; regardless of sexuality or gender orientation, race, background or upbringing.

There is support available for everyone. See www.tameside.gov.uk/domesticabuse or call Bridges 24 hour helpline 0800 328 0967. In an emergency you should always contact 999.

*names have been changed to protect the couple’s identities and help to keep them safe