Sister bereaved my suicide shares message of hope

Helen Wilcox from Dukinfield was just 16 when she lost her older brother Jon to suicide.

Only two years before, their mother had died of cancer and the trauma of the devastating double loss overshadowed her latter teenage years and early 20s – leading to her being diagnosed with post-traumatic stress disorder.

But the 32 -year-old has found a positive way to channel her grief and is sharing a message of hope to help others.

Between 20 and 25 people from Tameside die from suicide on average every year. Helen will be one of over 40 Tameside people who will be carrying the Baton of Hope through the borough on 12 September 2025, as part of both a celebratory and reflective event to raise awareness of suicide and help support anyone who is affected.

Helen said: “If people who are struggling read my story, maybe it will help them to talk about their struggles too.”

Helen told how she had just finished her GCSEs at school and was working part time in Ashton Market Hall the day in 2009 that she found out Jon, 27, had died by suicide.

She said: “I was working at a stall when my other brother walked up and said he needed to tell me something in private – I tried to keep on working as I was afraid of getting trouble so he just blurted it out.

“Jon had battled with his mental health since our mum had died  - as a family we had all struggled but he felt it even more. I wear my heart on my sleeve and talked through my grief but he bottled it up.

“There was no indication of how hopeless and desperate he must have been feeling inside. He had invited me round for tea two days before he died and been his normal self and we had had a laugh and said our goodbyes in our normal way.

“The night he died he had packed his lunch for ready for work the next day and got his bike ready for leaving the house as if everything was normal.

“Jon was always laughing – he was very popular and the life and soul of every gathering. He had a laugh that was like a giggle and if I close my eyes now I picture him smiling. But as a male, he didn’t talk about his feelings. We had no idea how bad things had got for him.

“I would always say now, if you are worried about someone don’t just ask how they are feeling, ask them twice to give them chance to open up. And don’t ask closed questions, which they can give one word answers to - dig a bit deeper.”

Helen is now a mum of one, working at Ashton Sixth Form College as a bursary and attendance officer and soon to start training to be a teacher.

She said: “I’ve been through some darks times but I got though it by focusing on things to live for – looking for the positives and doing something for myself each day, even if it was just brushing my hair or putting my make-up on, it would help me to feel better.”

Helen also volunteered for a time for The Anthony Seddon Fund, based in Ashton, which provides mental health peer support and has organised the Baton of Hope tour with the support of Tameside Council.

She said: “I’ve always followed their work and think it’s so important to help people to open up. I’m pleased to help share a message of hope, raise awareness of suicide and help people feel comfortable talking about it.

“And I’m doing this for Jon. He was my best friend and protector and always had my back. I’m doing this in his memory and to help get support to anyone struggling like he was.”

The national Baton of Hope UK campaign is the UK’s largest suicide prevention initiative to raise awareness and reduce stigma. The Baton of Hope will arrive in Tameside on 12 September 2025 as part of its journey across the UK. This inspiring event will travel through key local landmarks and communities, bringing people together in a shared commitment to hope, conversation, and change.

The event will include a variety of activities for all ages at various venues across the borough, including Portland Basin and Stamford Park, before a grand finale at Stalybridge Civic Hall from 4.30pm.

For further information and details of how to get involved see Baton of Hope Tameside - Event Details and Route - The Anthony Seddon Fund

Everyone across Tameside is urged to complete free online training to help support people who are feeling suicidal – it only takes 20 mins and could help you save a life Learn to Save a Life - Shining a Light on Suicide